1. Nothing is more important than family.
2. Do every job to the best of your ability, and success will follow, whether it be at work or doing laundry.
3. When Duran Duran comes to town, do whatever is necessary, including (but not limited to) lying, cheating, robbing, defrauding, and hooking to get to that concert.
I don't mean just stealing money from your family or calling out sick from work. I mean "do whatever is necessary" in the same context that John Gotti might mean it. Because when it comes to Simon LeBon, John Taylor, Roger Taylor, and especially Nick Rhodes, my other two tenets go right out the window. There are priorities, and then there are priorities.
Imagine my pickle when my sister (whom I like to refer to as Mrs. John Taylor when her husband isn't around) called me (Mrs. Nick Rhodes) to inform me that our favorite band would be in town on April 2nd. Tickets were outrageously priced, my knee is still very much immobilized and non-functioning, and in fact, surgery was scheduled for the very same day as the concert. I knew what I had to do.
I called up the surgeon's office, trying to sound desperate and woeful. "April 2nd is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day*," I pleaded. "With all that Smuckers has done for my family, I have to celebrate." The nurse agreed to postpone my surgery until after I underwent a psychiatric evaluation. I didn't care if she thought I was crazy. I was hungry to get to that concert. Hungry like the wolf.
I repositioned my kneecap back where it was supposed to be (it likes to slide out of place once in a while, drifting to the right) and called my sister back. "We're on!" I announced. "Try and get handicapped seating, okay?"
Some people grow out of their childhood crushes. I am not one of those emotionally mature people.
*Absolutely true.